Sunday, February 3, 2008

blog-3

jack stopped building his hut and looked up from the glimmering beach. a bewildered jack was walking out of the jungle. He said that he speared a pick but it escaped. he said if he had barbed spears he would have killed it. I wiped a few tendrils away from my face and told him what was on my mind. we needed to build huts. it was a festoon. he tried to give me inscrutable evidence that he could catch a pig soon but i denied it. i was very oppresive. he was trying to fluant me but it didn't work. i gave him a furtive glance. we kept arguing and in the end he was still set on pig hunting.

1 comment:

Mr. Shaddox said...

Hunter,

You did a great job integrating the vocab into the journal. However, your entry is brief. Each journal should be approx. 450-500 words.

REVISION:
Add descriptions and details to your journal. Questions to consider: What does the scene look like? What are the thoughts of the characters? What are the characters saying?

Check the usage of these words:
festoon
inscrutable
oppressive
flaunt

Also, please double check your spelling. There are a number of spelling errors throughout your work.

Gracias,
Mr. Shaddox